(rewriting this from scratch because it didn't save)
I went to a party today. It wasn't one of your normal house parties though, this one was organised by musicians and poets in a courtyard.
It was very nice, warm and raw, feeling like it's "in the now." This happens and will never happen again.
The singer waits a couple bars for the loud helicopter to pass overhead and, the pair of doves flutter away when the guitar plays a sudden loud noise.
It felt like those Instagram post of the perfect mood lighting and happy people with the caption "I want this."
This also made me realize that what I thought I wanted so I could be happy, never was what makes me happy.
(Not to say that this experience didn't make me happy, it did)
But to say that whatever social media pushed me into believing I wanted was never what I needed. It is made to take advantage of your sadness.
And that's sad